My name is Carolyn and this is my story of losing weight while dealing with Multiple Sclerosis and being fruit intolerant. I'm 5'8 and my highest weight was 357.4. I'm just trying to get that number down to show the hot body thats under this bloat coat. Bikini season, consider this war.

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Weekly Weigh In

Friday, August 8th: 269.0 

Pounds lost this week: 3.4 

Total Pounds lost: 88.4

Wow! Even with my vacation I still managed to pull off a great weight loss week! I’m in the 260’s!

No, lets do that one again….

I AM IN THE 260’s!

I just can’t believe it. I’m so close to 90 pounds down and I’m starting to feel like I’m getting closer to a more “normal” obese weight rather than always being the extreme outlier.

Being prepared for my vacation clearly had a positive impact on my success this week and I’m so grateful that this all seems so simple this way. It’s expensive to try to eat mostly organic, but with the results I’ve gotten, it’s worth every penny!

Vacation in August

I’m on vacation from work.

It seems a bit silly since I just spent almost two months on disability leave, but I really needed the time to relax without being sick. Let me just say, it’s been wonderful.

I decided to go to Orlando. I mapped out a plan to spend two nights with my best friend and her boyfriend, one night with family friends, and one night with an old friend.

With all the moving around, I was worried about keeping to my diet. I knew that eating mostly organic was going to be out of the question, but I wanted to maintain my low saturated pescatarian diet.

I also wanted to keep up with my green smoothies.

I packed up my Ninja blender, coconut oil, flax, chia, and hemp seeds. I stopped at the supermarket before I got to my first destination to load up on smoothie ingredients and healthy snacks. It all felt like second nature.

I’m happy to say that I stuck to my guns and, with the help of my very supportive friends and family, it was a breeze! They all even enjoyed my healthy snacks! Eating out was easy and I maintained my most strict goals. I did indulge on some coconut shrimp one night and bottomless mimosas with Sunday brunch, but I never passed my saturated fat limits and I ate mostly healthy meals.

This is the most successful vacation I’ve ever had eating-wise and it was simple and easy. Want to know the best part of my trip? All three groups that I visited noticed my weight loss enough to compliment me on it. I can’t see it, but maybe it’s becoming more noticeable to everyone else!

Weekly Weigh In

Friday, August 1st: 272.4

Pounds lost this week: 1

Total Pounds lost: 85

Another pound down! Feeling great!

Weekly Weigh In

Friday, July 25th: 273.4
Pounds lost this week: .8
Total Pounds lost: 84

I’ll take it! I know I’ve lost a lot of weight in the last couple weeks and to continue to see the scale go down feels amazing! I still don’t “feel good” from the way I’m eating but I heard that can take a couple of months. I can’t wait for that!

BUT people are starting to notice. Multiple random people have told me that I look thinner, I just wish I could see it too!

Well, I can see it in other ways. Like in my size 18 jeans that I could barely squeeze into before that are now pretty loose in the legs. That is nothing more than mind-blowing.

As long as the scale continues to decline, I’m happy!

Weekly Weigh In

That’s right everyone, it’s a weekly weigh in! Can I even call it that if I don’t always post every week? Ah, well, it’s my blog, so here we go…

I’m a month and a half into my relapse and for the last week and a half I’ve been following a strict organic pescatarian diet that’s very low in saturated fat (less than 15 grams a day).

I had gained a miserable 9 pounds between not being able to walk well (let alone exercise), not being able to use my hand, and being on the steroids.

That brought me to be 291.6 pounds. It was pretty devastating.

After going through my journals, I realized that every time I’m consistently losing weight I’ll have some sort of relapse that will send me back. After a lot of research I’ve changed my eating and I weighed in this morning at 277.2.

I’ll do the math for you, that’s 80.2 pounds down!

I’m happy that the weight is coming off, but that’s not why I’m eating this way. I’m done eating for weight loss. How can I choose sugar free pudding with hydrogenated cool whip, filled with chemicals and who knows what else over a piece of fruit? I’m eating for my MS. For fuel. To wake up in the morning and actually feel good.

Yes, I will post about the fruit intolerance issues later this week as well as more details about the eating plan.

Hopefully I’ll start to feel better moving forward. As of now, I’m just so excited to tell people I’ve lost over 80 pounds, I just want to scream it from my balcony!

But I won’t.

Goal for next week: To stop putting so much pressure on myself with these goals. Oh, and to feel better then I do this week.

Weekly Weigh In

Friday, May 30th: 282.0
Pounds lost: .4
Total Pounds lost: 75.4

Alright, so I didn’t hit my target for the week, but I still couldn’t be happier. I still lost weight during my birthday week (and I know you know I didn’t bother curbing my diet on my birthday…hello, cheesecake anyone?) and I’ve been pretty much in bed for the last two days, leaving my room only to cook (I swear to you!) and use the bathroom. All my meals have been quick and easy and I refuse to give up and order in.

I’m just so tired. Yesterday I had body aches, fatigue, and no balance. I figured that would pass with some rest. Today I woke up (miserably around 6 am) with body aches, fatigue, and a migraine. Don’t even get me started on the balance. Thirteen hours later and I’m still plagued with the migraine but now I’m noticing my left arm and leg are feeling a little numb. I was able to shower and I’m washing my blanket and sheets but now I’m sprawled out on the couch wondering how the heck I’m gonna make dinner.

Realistically, I think I’m gonna drag myself out to get a salad or soup or something. I can’t stand up long enough to cook again, let alone clean more dishes!

So, even though I’m having a rough couple of days, I’m really happy that my weight didn’t inflate. I’m hoping this week will be easier MS wise, I’d really like to get back into the gym…

Goal for next week: 280

Weekly Weigh In

Friday, May 23rd: 282.4
Pounds lost: 2
Total Pounds lost: 75

I’m speechless. And nervous about already almost being out of the 80’s! Let’s keep this roll going! It’s my birthday weekend and, while I don’t have any plans to binge, I would like to splurge a little bit!

Goal for next week: 280. Yikes!

Things That Make Me Happy

As you may be able to see from the scarcity of my posts or my admittance to hitting a massive wall, I’ve halted any true progression in my life. I feel stuck.

Everything is up in the air right now. As of tonight I’m living on my own for the first time ever. I’ve lived in a dorm, but there’s always someone down the hall. I am officially alone. I’m moving soon, applying to schools, job hunting, and studying. My future just seems so fuzzy right now, which of course, is driving me mad.

So, today, as I cried all the way home from work for no good reason, I started to think about my birthday this month.

I’ll be 25 on May 25th. My golden birthday.

As a 25 year old, I will have achieved none of the major life goals I was hoping to hit by this age. It’s depressing and it didn’t help this whole “self hate” phase that I can’t seem to shake. I’m overwhelmed with the realization that I still feel like a walking blimp. It bothers me that I haven’t even begun graduate school…I haven’t even taken the GRE yet.

It also kind of gets under my skin that I don’t have a man in my life. I haven’t really been looking, but this still feels like it should be noted for some reason. Apparently, having a boyfriend says a lot about my own self worth… Operator, can you connect me with the closest psychiatrist, please?

I could go on, but I think that’s enough of that. I called one of my best friends to tell her what I was thinking and, being that we’re so similar, she validated my feelings and then reminded me that this is the moment where I should focus on the things I don’t like about myself and try to change them. I need to start focusing on what makes me happy. So, thats what I did.

Losing weight makes me happy. I feel more fit, sexier, and it lessens my fear of an impending collapse in my future health.

KEEPING UP WITH THIS BLOG MAKES ME HAPPY. I’ve only been posting once a week at best and it irritates me everyday. This blog is the only thing I’ve done on my own consistently for this amount of time. It should be a priority to continue writing.

Volunteering makes me happy. My schedule has been a bit scattered at work so I haven’t been into the MS Society’s office in a few weeks. This also upsets me.

I always spend a lot of time with family and friends, these are the things that make me happy as an individual and I worry that I’m letting them all slip away. I want to be fit and feel good about myself. I want to continue to write and inspire others. I want to continue to help others and myself in every way that I can.

I don’t know what limitations life will put on me down the road. I want to take advantage of the moment and I’m wasting a lot of time being miserable. How many times am I going to say enough is enough before it actually means something?

My Biggest Bully

There are a lot of things about myself that I simply don’t like. I think about my flaws for a good portion of my day and I’m constantly pining for change.

I like to think everyone thinks that way, but that doesn’t really make me feel any better. I just wish things were different.

I wish I was thinner, and that I didn’t have MS. It bothers me that I haven’t travelled more and that I haven’t gone to grad school yet. I think about how much I hate my thighs/arms/stomach and will go to great lengths to hide them. I think my freckles are extremely unattractive. I hate how unorganized I am and that my room is always messy. It’s a never ending obsession and I just can’t get my brain to stop bullying me.

One thing that’s always stuck with me is how much I hate the way I look when I laugh. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s true. I used to see commercials where people would look so beautiful when they laughed that I would try to practice it in the mirror (well, this is embarrassing), but no matter how hard I tried, my natural laugh always took over in the moment. Recently, I was out for dinner and drinks with a group of friends and my brother snapped a picture of me mid laugh and posted it on Facebook before I had a chance to delete it.

Before I knew it, that picture had more likes than any other picture I have on Facebook. People were posting “Wow, you look great!” and “Gorgeous!”. Even though I’m still not thrilled with the way I look when I’m laughing, clearly this is all perspective and that makes me wonder if everything else I’ve been worrying about is also my own perspective with a negative twist.

I don’t need to love everything about myself because then, I wouldn’t have the drive to achieve more. I want the most for myself and, bottom line, I love myself more than anyone else. I want to try to see the things that bother me as opportunities to better myself. I want to love every aspect of myself and mold who I am into who I deserve to be. For now, I’ll recognize when I’m picking on myself, but then I have to let it go. I can only be who I am in this moment and who knows, maybe most of the people I know really love that part about me.

I guess I’ll have to worry less and laugh more…even if I wish I had a prettier laugh, a genuine laugh is apparently far more attractive.


I haven’t updated in over a week, which is odd because I have so much to say. A lot is happening, so I’ll give you the bullet points to spare you from another one of my famous long posts.

I’ve been maintaining my weight for the last two weigh ins at 289.2, it went down to 289.0 and then up to 289.6, but overall its just been hovering for now and thats perfectly fine with me.

I’m moving. I have no idea where I’m going to live or if I’m going to even stay in Miami. I’m torn between my options, but luckily, I have about 2 months to make up my mind… Realistically, not knowing is driving me mad.

I’ve been going out with friends a lot. A couple times a week at least. I’ve been really good about not overindulging too bad and still enjoying myself. I’m also getting kinda tired of going out all the time so I’m going to scale back. Starting yesterday.

Last, but CERTAINLY not least: I had my year review with my neurologist. The appointment where we go over my MRI and discuss my MS “progress”. Well, turns out, I’M DOING FANTASTIC! My physical came back with no abnormalities and my MRI showed NO new lesions and only 1 active lesion.
Things haven’t been this good health wise since before I was diagnosed. If things continue like this, I like to think I can control my MS more than letting it control me.

In the end, I’ve been pretty happy recently. I’ve been studying non stop for the GRE and trying to solidify where I want to go to grad school. Beyond that I’m still volunteering at least every other week with the MS Society and I’m working non stop. Life has been busy and I couldn’t feel more blessed.

Life is good.